I stole (borrowed really...see if that keeps the cuffs off me) the title from Grosse Pointe Blank. And to top it off, I'm stealing (ahem, free advertising really) this question from Excalibur Hotel in Las Vegas who posted the following on Facebook (man, by naming facebook am I violating some trademark rule?? 2 sentences into a blog and I've got more misdemeanours than ____ [insert joke here]??) Here goes...
"If you were one of those dolls that you pull the string in their back and they say a certain phrase(s), what would you say?"
Well.... ?
Showing posts with label movie quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie quotes. Show all posts
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, August 3, 2007
Miss Remiss
I, probably like many people today (and when I say "today" I do not refer specifically to this day, but in the more general sense of "today's day and age" as they say), have several email accounts. Perhaps there are some who would question this, perhaps they would query if it would not be more simple to have one account. And to them I say, yeah, whatever.
So anyway, in one email account I had 330 new messages. I started recently to go through them. I know other people would just delete anything of lesser importance, but I have some...let's call it a quirk, that sounds like fun - rather than, say, calling it an annoying habit or compulsive behaviour...which means that I will actually go through and read/watch anything other than junk (e.g. "Increase Your Manhood!" - this last bit leads me to think of a line from the movie Dead Man on Campus, "Kick me in the junk!" but I digress, and, as usual, wildly. Yep, I'm a wild digresser.)
So where was I? Oh yes, reading through the beginnings of 330 unread messages. Which does not include ones that I quickly read as they were potentially important/time sensitive but did not turn out to be 'important or time sensitive enough' shall we say to merit my responding immediately. However, I should have responded by now. It's a wonder some of my friends haven't disowned me. Or perhaps they have, but I just haven't gotten to those emails yet. Did I just digress again? Sheesh.
And I chuckle now to think that there really isn't a point to all this anyway. I think this entry is really a metaphor for life, enjoy the journey, not the destination. Hell, if this blog turns into one of those aphorism (is that even the right word?) posters with the gay sayings (sorry, that's probably not PC, give me a break ok, I know I used the word "gay" in a negative fashion, but just let it go) and the cheesy sunrise pictures I will be forced to kill myself. Hell, wouldn't you guys chew off your own arms to escape a fate like that? Man, maybe that's what hell is...eternally trapped in a place where every room is filled with those posters. Which is funny (and when I use "funny" I sometimes mean more "ironic") because just this morning I was saying to myself (not outloud, just in my head) "you're going to hell now forsure". I wonder if anyone just perked up a bit and thought, 'hey, this has some potential, what was GB doing to say something like that?' Nothing that grandiose. Just some impure thoughts during a time that impure thoughts were probably not appropriate. But at the time the hell thing was a bit of a joke, now that I've considered the possibility of aphorism hell, I'm a bit more worried. Anyhoo... you know what, anyhoo is one of those things that I would be willing to bet I'd find super annoying. Yet I use it from time to time and it doesn't seem to annoy me really. Hmm.
Okay, I think this may be my last "point." (And yes, I use that term loosely. Very loosely. Like taking the skin of a full-grown male elephant and putting it on a person loosely. Yeah, that loosely. Behold.) So as I started out saying, I was going through the beginnings of all these unread emails and I came across one for saving money on sending flowers. It expired June 22nd. So I look more closely at the email and realize that yes, in fact the emails I'm going through are from FREAKIN' June. 330 didn't seem so bad. I thought people were just sending a lot of jokes and shit. But now...
So anyway, in one email account I had 330 new messages. I started recently to go through them. I know other people would just delete anything of lesser importance, but I have some...let's call it a quirk, that sounds like fun - rather than, say, calling it an annoying habit or compulsive behaviour...which means that I will actually go through and read/watch anything other than junk (e.g. "Increase Your Manhood!" - this last bit leads me to think of a line from the movie Dead Man on Campus, "Kick me in the junk!" but I digress, and, as usual, wildly. Yep, I'm a wild digresser.)
So where was I? Oh yes, reading through the beginnings of 330 unread messages. Which does not include ones that I quickly read as they were potentially important/time sensitive but did not turn out to be 'important or time sensitive enough' shall we say to merit my responding immediately. However, I should have responded by now. It's a wonder some of my friends haven't disowned me. Or perhaps they have, but I just haven't gotten to those emails yet. Did I just digress again? Sheesh.
And I chuckle now to think that there really isn't a point to all this anyway. I think this entry is really a metaphor for life, enjoy the journey, not the destination. Hell, if this blog turns into one of those aphorism (is that even the right word?) posters with the gay sayings (sorry, that's probably not PC, give me a break ok, I know I used the word "gay" in a negative fashion, but just let it go) and the cheesy sunrise pictures I will be forced to kill myself. Hell, wouldn't you guys chew off your own arms to escape a fate like that? Man, maybe that's what hell is...eternally trapped in a place where every room is filled with those posters. Which is funny (and when I use "funny" I sometimes mean more "ironic") because just this morning I was saying to myself (not outloud, just in my head) "you're going to hell now forsure". I wonder if anyone just perked up a bit and thought, 'hey, this has some potential, what was GB doing to say something like that?' Nothing that grandiose. Just some impure thoughts during a time that impure thoughts were probably not appropriate. But at the time the hell thing was a bit of a joke, now that I've considered the possibility of aphorism hell, I'm a bit more worried. Anyhoo... you know what, anyhoo is one of those things that I would be willing to bet I'd find super annoying. Yet I use it from time to time and it doesn't seem to annoy me really. Hmm.
Okay, I think this may be my last "point." (And yes, I use that term loosely. Very loosely. Like taking the skin of a full-grown male elephant and putting it on a person loosely. Yeah, that loosely. Behold.) So as I started out saying, I was going through the beginnings of all these unread emails and I came across one for saving money on sending flowers. It expired June 22nd. So I look more closely at the email and realize that yes, in fact the emails I'm going through are from FREAKIN' June. 330 didn't seem so bad. I thought people were just sending a lot of jokes and shit. But now...
Saturday, July 21, 2007
The Heckler Interjects
ALEJANDRO VALVERDE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Remember, you should be reading that as Al-leh-han-dro!!!!! Val-vair-day!!! Say it with flourish! Like that dude from Princess Bride [I am...] but done as an over the top melodrama)(I can't help myself....it's temporary Tourette's)
What a great name....
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Wok With GB
First off, sorry about the title.
So tonight had all the drama of Iron Chef, but in my very own kitchen.
Really, you ask? Who'd you take on, Iron Chef Japan?
Well, um, no, not...exactly. But what I did do was make a stirfry. And the secret ingredient was (drumroll please)... various vegetables. And the competition was... none other than myself.
Now I know you're probably thinking at this point, Iron Chef this is not. However, I did use a cast IRON frying pan for some of it and I CHEFfed. I rest my case. And I did all that without wearing a stupid hat. So there.
So it actually started out innocently enough as a regular old exercise in cooking dinner. Yawn. But obviously some kind of frenzy must have overtaken me, because I crammed so many vegetables (yes, various ones) into that stir fry...
Let's count, shall we? (That was a rhetorical question, get counting you lazy asses! NOW!!)
1. Carrots
2. Cauliflower
3. Parsnip
4. Leeks
5. Red Pepper
(Don't panic, just continue counting using your other hand. If you only have one hand, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to poke fun at you or anything, sorry about the tragic loss of your hand. If it wasn't tragic, make something up.)
6. Yellow Pepper
7. Broccoli
8. Snow Peas
9. Zucchini
10. Bean Sprouts
Damn, is that it? This is the first time I counted so I really had no idea how this was going to go. Yeah, that's right, I just blog on the fly like that, I'm crazy that way. WILD!
A ha! I just remembered! You'd better pull out your toes now. Not literally for the love of god! I just meant to count on! (I'll have to remember that as a line though, "your blog makes me want to pull out my own toes").
11. Asparagus
I also used tofu, but I don't think one can count that as a vegetable. And yes, I know, ewww, tofu, but relax, I know how to cook - the tofu was just fine. I also used a hoisin sauce. And it was all served over fresh chinese noodles. One of the people who I deigned to share with started making cracks about how I knew they were chinese noodles. I bet you think I then beat him repeatedly with said noodles, but no, I did not. As John Cusack's character in Grosse Pointe Blank said, "I don't want to get into a big semantic argument about it, I just want the protein." Except in this case perhaps it's the carbs. But I think you smart readers get the gist.
And yes, in case you're wondering, I am still sitting here going, 'hmm, was that really all the vegetables? Surely there was something else...'
So tonight had all the drama of Iron Chef, but in my very own kitchen.
Really, you ask? Who'd you take on, Iron Chef Japan?
Well, um, no, not...exactly. But what I did do was make a stirfry. And the secret ingredient was (drumroll please)... various vegetables. And the competition was... none other than myself.
Now I know you're probably thinking at this point, Iron Chef this is not. However, I did use a cast IRON frying pan for some of it and I CHEFfed. I rest my case. And I did all that without wearing a stupid hat. So there.
So it actually started out innocently enough as a regular old exercise in cooking dinner. Yawn. But obviously some kind of frenzy must have overtaken me, because I crammed so many vegetables (yes, various ones) into that stir fry...
Let's count, shall we? (That was a rhetorical question, get counting you lazy asses! NOW!!)
1. Carrots
2. Cauliflower
3. Parsnip
4. Leeks
5. Red Pepper
(Don't panic, just continue counting using your other hand. If you only have one hand, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to poke fun at you or anything, sorry about the tragic loss of your hand. If it wasn't tragic, make something up.)
6. Yellow Pepper
7. Broccoli
8. Snow Peas
9. Zucchini
10. Bean Sprouts
Damn, is that it? This is the first time I counted so I really had no idea how this was going to go. Yeah, that's right, I just blog on the fly like that, I'm crazy that way. WILD!
A ha! I just remembered! You'd better pull out your toes now. Not literally for the love of god! I just meant to count on! (I'll have to remember that as a line though, "your blog makes me want to pull out my own toes").
11. Asparagus
I also used tofu, but I don't think one can count that as a vegetable. And yes, I know, ewww, tofu, but relax, I know how to cook - the tofu was just fine. I also used a hoisin sauce. And it was all served over fresh chinese noodles. One of the people who I deigned to share with started making cracks about how I knew they were chinese noodles. I bet you think I then beat him repeatedly with said noodles, but no, I did not. As John Cusack's character in Grosse Pointe Blank said, "I don't want to get into a big semantic argument about it, I just want the protein." Except in this case perhaps it's the carbs. But I think you smart readers get the gist.
And yes, in case you're wondering, I am still sitting here going, 'hmm, was that really all the vegetables? Surely there was something else...'
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