Great Blogspectations Presents... Great Boobspectations

Following close on the heels of "What a Boob", we now have "Great Boobspectations".

What did you expect, these things come in pairs you know. (Bah-dum-ching!)


'Great Boobspectations' is inspired by one Andrew of IPB who read "What a Boob" and then came across a post at KuklasKorner about a Craigslist ad that...well... you'll see. So I'm reposting the ad below...


"I have a bunch of Canucks tix, and normally I use them for business development and entertain client, or take some of my cheap friends who wont buy their own, and once in a while, my wife decides she is a hockey fan and enjoys a game.
I know there are always lots of people looking for tickets, so I figured I would post on CL, and see if there was anyone else that would like a FREE ticket to go to the game with ME…..meet a complete stranger, and spend a harmless evening watching the Nucks. I am sure the conversation will be somewhat more interesting, entertaining, or at the very least, better to look at than one of my clients or beer drinking friends.
So here is the criteria and what I propose…….I am looking for an attractive, fit, married or single, classy, BUSTY female to join me as my guest for an upcoming Canucks game. No game in particular…whatever fits both of our schedules. Ideally you would wear something classy, but with a little edge to the outfit…i love cleavage, I love big boobs, and i love a little attitude and confidence to go along with it.
This is NOT about sex, or trying to solicit a sexual encounter and I am NOT expecting anything in return before or after the game. Just some fun conversation, a cool experience, and maybe a glimpse (ok maybe two)at some nice BIG boobs….I am a total boob guy, but unfortunately, most of my clients are males, and my wife was not blessed with anything bigger than a b cup.
So…….if you fit the description, email me back, and lets see if we can set up a “Canuck date”….
me: 30, married, professionally employed, attractive, clean cut, classy and respectful."


I love the "classy and respectful" part at the end. At any rate, Mr. What A Boob has turned out to be a wonderful inspiration - I even joked that I might have to change the blog name to Great Boobspectations after all this. But then I saw reason and just did one post. However, a bunch of 'boob' talk got generated over at IPB that caused the Oh-So-Fun and lovely Katebits to share a story about an online dating profile. Katebits described it as follows:


"the guy was going on and on and on with shit like,'You should have the exotic beauty of Catherine Zeta Jones, the bubbly personality of Drew Barrymore, the quirky appeal of Audry Hepburn….ect ect.' Honestly, he went on like this FOREVER and he must have listed at least fifty movie stars and their best quality. By the time I was half way through I was literally disgusted, but I kept reading because I couldn’t believe that anyone would have such gall. (By the way, there wasn’t a single piece of information about the GUY, only the incredible list of expectations.) SO I get to the end of the profile and I am really truly aghast, and he finishes his profile with this line:

'Oh, who am I kidding? Must have big tits and a pulse.'"


That is SO hilarious.

Thank you Andrew & Katebits for your contributions to today's installment of "Great Boobspectations". Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Over at Interchangeable Parts http://interchangeableparts.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/psuedo-opening-day-ducks-vs-kings-092907/ in their game day diary they wrote:

"7:15 We hear all about how when Kopitar was a little kid he frequently asked his grandmother to interview him in English. That’s probably why we’re not professional athletes – we didn’t commit enough to the dream of being interviewed a lot when we were kids."

Not only did that line bring the funny, but it also inspired this post. (Hopefully the girls at IPB aren't rolling their eyes at that. "Oh fabulous, we inspired THAT?! - eye roll ;)

That made me think of when I was a kid. I think I'd been reading a bunch of Nancy Drew at this particular juncture and I got into this detective/crime solving thing. In one she'd managed to escape after being tied up because she tensed her wrists in a particular way and thus was able to loosen her bonds. So, gleefully, I recall begging my Dad to tie me up. At the time, I didn't understand why he didn't seem super keen to do so. Once I got older, it was apparent, and hilarious to me. The poor guy figured Social Services would pick that time to send over the child protection services and how would he explain that.
"But you don't understand, she just wanted to pretend to be Nancy Drew, that's all!"
(The workers, between themselves: "And who were you going to pretend to be - you sick &^%$" they say to one another before they remove child-me from the premises).

And in case you're wondering, I do believe I was able to convince him in the end, but he used those big green garbage bags. Not ropes or chain or anything. And of course this all came in very handy for my detective career. Um, well... Hey, I did date a P.I. once! But when he tied me up I didn't want to escape. Just kidding. About the tying up part that is - I really did date a P.I. - it was kind of creepy.
"Ok, let me tell you where I live."
"Don't bother, I'll find you."

Hockey Date in Canada

So I'm watching the NHL season opener from England and the commentator says something along the lines of, "he put his arm around the guy and almost took a penalty". So I think (sarcastically) to myself, "wow, putting your arm around someone (a gesture of affection) is a penalty huh" which leads me to picture being on a date and the guy goes to put his arm around me and I say stridently, "hey! nuh uh, penalty!.." which immediately led me to the continuation of that thought, "..2 minutes in the box!". Uh. Hmm, that might not work so well. Ahem. Right-o then.

Of Dogs and Men

So recently a female acquaintance says to me, "hey, I don't know if you're in the available dating pool or not, but if you're into it, I know this guy named _____ (whatever it was) who has a great dog named _____ (Cisco?) and he's single!"

I reply, "who is, the dog or the guy?"

I mean really, I've heard women complain about having dated some dogs, but getting set up with an actual canine is pushing it.

On a secondary note, you gotta love the high-tech matching system she's utilizing. This guy (yes, in case you hadn't figured it out, it was the guy she was trying to set me up with - well him with his dog thrown in as a bonus prize) is single - wow, what a qualification. Really? A single guy? I had no idea they existed! I can't believe you found one - set me up! (Now you should picture that "so happy together" song playing with a slow-mo video of me and this guy holding hands running through a field of flowers while the dog romps nearby - don't forget to picture the big idiotic grins we're sporting - and by we I mean all 3 of us).