Okay, so it's no IPB calibre game diary...more like a highlight version...and not even a good highlight version like NHL On The Fly...but here goes...
I've sat down with my Dad to watch this game. He likes to watch with no sound on. He's waiting for the day when you can pick which sounds you get with a game. Which, as an aside, would be way cool. "I'd like all the on ice noise and the crowd, oh, good play by play guy tonight - I'll keep him then - oh (said with disdain) *he's* doing colour...mute FORSURE!" (But I digress).
Canucks have the puck behind their own net. They're taking their sweet time setting up the play. I snidely remark that if they just stand there a little longer, they're sure to run out the clock (I think there was about 2 minutes left).
Canucks do a break-out, it looks good at first and then falls flat. I remark, "guess he's not a Weaver of magic". My Dad didn't get it at first, til he realized the Canucks D Weaver had started the play. I felt pretty proud. I was practically Ron MacLean right there.
The Canucks have the puck for a long time in the offensive zone but no real chances. I think to myself that the Canucks are like my spin class this morning: lots of cycling, but you never go anywhere.
Avalanche are called on a penalty. Their coach is shown doing the usual freak out (recall, no sound). My Dad says, "he seems like a sweet guy" (in a very sort of sincere sounding voice, hard to explain, but it was somehow funny). Then they do the penalty box shot with the graphic, and it's Kurt Sauer in the box. For a minute I thought my Dad somehow had known that and wasn't referring to the coach at all with his, "sweet" comment but making a joke re: "sour" (that's the antithesis of sweet for anyone who didn't get that ;) Of course he was talking about the coach. But it was still well-timed comedy, dammit.
Canucks again, what looks to be some pretty passing - I think "tic...tac!....noooo". On the replay, it appears that the "pretty passing" I originally saw was actually more like a series of lucky blunders. Kind of made it cool, actually.
I note the "Viagra" ads on the boards. A reminder to "get it up" I think. Unless the opposing goalie is weak 5 hole or on wraparounds, in which case...
Showing posts with label IPB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IPB. Show all posts
Friday, November 9, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Blog Inspiration Synchronicity
The subtitle of this post should be: "A.K.A. awkward title" or "Take out the middle initial and you're left with BS". But I digress.
So over at IPB we were talking about 'old-fashioned phrases'. I mentioned that I had said "the proof is in the pudding" and the person I was speaking to (late 20's I think) said xe had never heard that expression.
Later that same day... (screen goes wavy), I was reading a book (coincidentally it was about blogging) and the author (Mason) was talking about "phrases you wish would come back into fashion".
So here goes...
"I don't give a tinker's damn." (Have to admit, that's new to me. Did tinker's have dams and someone got confused? Were they really crappy, leaky dams?)
"Here's mud in your eye." (Did that used to be the equivalent of the F word?? Once upon a time it was 'Mud in your eye!' and now it's 'Fuck off'?)
"He's a tall, cool drink of water." (Yeah, but the more pressing question is, who is the straw that stirs the drink?!?! Am I right?!)
"I like the cut of his jib." (Sailing is soooo kinky!)
"I'll fix your little red wagon." (Apparently wagon fixing is right up there with sailing, who knew).
So over at IPB we were talking about 'old-fashioned phrases'. I mentioned that I had said "the proof is in the pudding" and the person I was speaking to (late 20's I think) said xe had never heard that expression.
Later that same day... (screen goes wavy), I was reading a book (coincidentally it was about blogging) and the author (Mason) was talking about "phrases you wish would come back into fashion".
So here goes...
"I don't give a tinker's damn." (Have to admit, that's new to me. Did tinker's have dams and someone got confused? Were they really crappy, leaky dams?)
"Here's mud in your eye." (Did that used to be the equivalent of the F word?? Once upon a time it was 'Mud in your eye!' and now it's 'Fuck off'?)
"He's a tall, cool drink of water." (Yeah, but the more pressing question is, who is the straw that stirs the drink?!?! Am I right?!)
"I like the cut of his jib." (Sailing is soooo kinky!)
"I'll fix your little red wagon." (Apparently wagon fixing is right up there with sailing, who knew).
Friday, October 12, 2007
Great Blogspectations Presents... Great Boobspectations
Following close on the heels of "What a Boob", we now have "Great Boobspectations".
What did you expect, these things come in pairs you know. (Bah-dum-ching!)
'Great Boobspectations' is inspired by one Andrew of IPB who read "What a Boob" and then came across a post at KuklasKorner about a Craigslist ad that...well... you'll see. So I'm reposting the ad below...
"I have a bunch of Canucks tix, and normally I use them for business development and entertain client, or take some of my cheap friends who wont buy their own, and once in a while, my wife decides she is a hockey fan and enjoys a game.
I know there are always lots of people looking for tickets, so I figured I would post on CL, and see if there was anyone else that would like a FREE ticket to go to the game with ME…..meet a complete stranger, and spend a harmless evening watching the Nucks. I am sure the conversation will be somewhat more interesting, entertaining, or at the very least, better to look at than one of my clients or beer drinking friends.
So here is the criteria and what I propose…….I am looking for an attractive, fit, married or single, classy, BUSTY female to join me as my guest for an upcoming Canucks game. No game in particular…whatever fits both of our schedules. Ideally you would wear something classy, but with a little edge to the outfit…i love cleavage, I love big boobs, and i love a little attitude and confidence to go along with it.
This is NOT about sex, or trying to solicit a sexual encounter and I am NOT expecting anything in return before or after the game. Just some fun conversation, a cool experience, and maybe a glimpse (ok maybe two)at some nice BIG boobs….I am a total boob guy, but unfortunately, most of my clients are males, and my wife was not blessed with anything bigger than a b cup.
So…….if you fit the description, email me back, and lets see if we can set up a “Canuck date”….
me: 30, married, professionally employed, attractive, clean cut, classy and respectful."
I love the "classy and respectful" part at the end. At any rate, Mr. What A Boob has turned out to be a wonderful inspiration - I even joked that I might have to change the blog name to Great Boobspectations after all this. But then I saw reason and just did one post. However, a bunch of 'boob' talk got generated over at IPB that caused the Oh-So-Fun and lovely Katebits to share a story about an online dating profile. Katebits described it as follows:
"the guy was going on and on and on with shit like,'You should have the exotic beauty of Catherine Zeta Jones, the bubbly personality of Drew Barrymore, the quirky appeal of Audry Hepburn….ect ect.' Honestly, he went on like this FOREVER and he must have listed at least fifty movie stars and their best quality. By the time I was half way through I was literally disgusted, but I kept reading because I couldn’t believe that anyone would have such gall. (By the way, there wasn’t a single piece of information about the GUY, only the incredible list of expectations.) SO I get to the end of the profile and I am really truly aghast, and he finishes his profile with this line:
'Oh, who am I kidding? Must have big tits and a pulse.'"
That is SO hilarious.
Thank you Andrew & Katebits for your contributions to today's installment of "Great Boobspectations". Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.
What did you expect, these things come in pairs you know. (Bah-dum-ching!)
'Great Boobspectations' is inspired by one Andrew of IPB who read "What a Boob" and then came across a post at KuklasKorner about a Craigslist ad that...well... you'll see. So I'm reposting the ad below...
"I have a bunch of Canucks tix, and normally I use them for business development and entertain client, or take some of my cheap friends who wont buy their own, and once in a while, my wife decides she is a hockey fan and enjoys a game.
I know there are always lots of people looking for tickets, so I figured I would post on CL, and see if there was anyone else that would like a FREE ticket to go to the game with ME…..meet a complete stranger, and spend a harmless evening watching the Nucks. I am sure the conversation will be somewhat more interesting, entertaining, or at the very least, better to look at than one of my clients or beer drinking friends.
So here is the criteria and what I propose…….I am looking for an attractive, fit, married or single, classy, BUSTY female to join me as my guest for an upcoming Canucks game. No game in particular…whatever fits both of our schedules. Ideally you would wear something classy, but with a little edge to the outfit…i love cleavage, I love big boobs, and i love a little attitude and confidence to go along with it.
This is NOT about sex, or trying to solicit a sexual encounter and I am NOT expecting anything in return before or after the game. Just some fun conversation, a cool experience, and maybe a glimpse (ok maybe two)at some nice BIG boobs….I am a total boob guy, but unfortunately, most of my clients are males, and my wife was not blessed with anything bigger than a b cup.
So…….if you fit the description, email me back, and lets see if we can set up a “Canuck date”….
me: 30, married, professionally employed, attractive, clean cut, classy and respectful."
I love the "classy and respectful" part at the end. At any rate, Mr. What A Boob has turned out to be a wonderful inspiration - I even joked that I might have to change the blog name to Great Boobspectations after all this. But then I saw reason and just did one post. However, a bunch of 'boob' talk got generated over at IPB that caused the Oh-So-Fun and lovely Katebits to share a story about an online dating profile. Katebits described it as follows:
"the guy was going on and on and on with shit like,'You should have the exotic beauty of Catherine Zeta Jones, the bubbly personality of Drew Barrymore, the quirky appeal of Audry Hepburn….ect ect.' Honestly, he went on like this FOREVER and he must have listed at least fifty movie stars and their best quality. By the time I was half way through I was literally disgusted, but I kept reading because I couldn’t believe that anyone would have such gall. (By the way, there wasn’t a single piece of information about the GUY, only the incredible list of expectations.) SO I get to the end of the profile and I am really truly aghast, and he finishes his profile with this line:
'Oh, who am I kidding? Must have big tits and a pulse.'"
That is SO hilarious.
Thank you Andrew & Katebits for your contributions to today's installment of "Great Boobspectations". Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
Over at Interchangeable Parts http://interchangeableparts.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/psuedo-opening-day-ducks-vs-kings-092907/ in their game day diary they wrote:
"7:15 We hear all about how when Kopitar was a little kid he frequently asked his grandmother to interview him in English. That’s probably why we’re not professional athletes – we didn’t commit enough to the dream of being interviewed a lot when we were kids."
Not only did that line bring the funny, but it also inspired this post. (Hopefully the girls at IPB aren't rolling their eyes at that. "Oh fabulous, we inspired THAT?! - eye roll ;)
That made me think of when I was a kid. I think I'd been reading a bunch of Nancy Drew at this particular juncture and I got into this detective/crime solving thing. In one she'd managed to escape after being tied up because she tensed her wrists in a particular way and thus was able to loosen her bonds. So, gleefully, I recall begging my Dad to tie me up. At the time, I didn't understand why he didn't seem super keen to do so. Once I got older, it was apparent, and hilarious to me. The poor guy figured Social Services would pick that time to send over the child protection services and how would he explain that.
"But you don't understand, she just wanted to pretend to be Nancy Drew, that's all!"
(The workers, between themselves: "And who were you going to pretend to be - you sick &^%$" they say to one another before they remove child-me from the premises).
And in case you're wondering, I do believe I was able to convince him in the end, but he used those big green garbage bags. Not ropes or chain or anything. And of course this all came in very handy for my detective career. Um, well... Hey, I did date a P.I. once! But when he tied me up I didn't want to escape. Just kidding. About the tying up part that is - I really did date a P.I. - it was kind of creepy.
"Ok, let me tell you where I live."
"Don't bother, I'll find you."
"7:15 We hear all about how when Kopitar was a little kid he frequently asked his grandmother to interview him in English. That’s probably why we’re not professional athletes – we didn’t commit enough to the dream of being interviewed a lot when we were kids."
Not only did that line bring the funny, but it also inspired this post. (Hopefully the girls at IPB aren't rolling their eyes at that. "Oh fabulous, we inspired THAT?! - eye roll ;)
That made me think of when I was a kid. I think I'd been reading a bunch of Nancy Drew at this particular juncture and I got into this detective/crime solving thing. In one she'd managed to escape after being tied up because she tensed her wrists in a particular way and thus was able to loosen her bonds. So, gleefully, I recall begging my Dad to tie me up. At the time, I didn't understand why he didn't seem super keen to do so. Once I got older, it was apparent, and hilarious to me. The poor guy figured Social Services would pick that time to send over the child protection services and how would he explain that.
"But you don't understand, she just wanted to pretend to be Nancy Drew, that's all!"
(The workers, between themselves: "And who were you going to pretend to be - you sick &^%$" they say to one another before they remove child-me from the premises).
And in case you're wondering, I do believe I was able to convince him in the end, but he used those big green garbage bags. Not ropes or chain or anything. And of course this all came in very handy for my detective career. Um, well... Hey, I did date a P.I. once! But when he tied me up I didn't want to escape. Just kidding. About the tying up part that is - I really did date a P.I. - it was kind of creepy.
"Ok, let me tell you where I live."
"Don't bother, I'll find you."
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
DVD Delight
You would never know it from this blog, but I'm a hockey fan. Today I found myself pommerdoodling (see http://interchangeableparts.wordpress.com/ for a definition of this word - or just go there because IPB fucking rocks) over an interview with Trevor Linden. A little background...I once really dug Trevor Linden. Not that I really stopped, but you know how these things go. But this interview was so awesome. First of all, he's very well-spoken. Second of all, he made jokes about Le Tour, doping, cycling, and spandex (apparently Trevor rode in the Alps and did some mountain bike race in Europe in the off-season). Awesome. I think I was going to list some more reasons, but whatever.
Moving away from hockey...and back to Tour related business....today when I got to work I found that the two DVD sets (1999 and 2000 Tours) that I'd ordered had arrived. I've only just started disc 1 of the first set, but felt compelled to write about the little I've seen so far. It begins with that dude (what is his name, that commentator - ah! Phil Liggett - no idea on the spelling, sorry dude - I think Paul Sherwen - same caveat - is also featured) talking about Lance Armstrong (spelled that right, woohoo!) being on top of the world and then it crumbling as he finds out he has cancer in an advanced stage, tumours as big as golf balls in his lungs, and is told by his docs that he has a 20-50% chance to live. Phil goes on to say that actually his doctors didn't think he would live. Then there's a short interview with Lance and then the intro to the prologue starts. It shows some scenery, crowds, etc. and the credits are coming up over top. What made me chortle is that they show a little girl in a stroller in this intro, and she is totally picking her nose. It could be that it's late, I'm tired, I haven't eaten enough...but that just cracked me up. Hello???? Editors???? Proof 'watchers'???
P.S. For those of you who saw the title and thought something along the lines of, "sweet! finally the porn stuff is starting" - ha ha, fooled you again, suckers! (Just kidding...you know...)
Moving away from hockey...and back to Tour related business....today when I got to work I found that the two DVD sets (1999 and 2000 Tours) that I'd ordered had arrived. I've only just started disc 1 of the first set, but felt compelled to write about the little I've seen so far. It begins with that dude (what is his name, that commentator - ah! Phil Liggett - no idea on the spelling, sorry dude - I think Paul Sherwen - same caveat - is also featured) talking about Lance Armstrong (spelled that right, woohoo!) being on top of the world and then it crumbling as he finds out he has cancer in an advanced stage, tumours as big as golf balls in his lungs, and is told by his docs that he has a 20-50% chance to live. Phil goes on to say that actually his doctors didn't think he would live. Then there's a short interview with Lance and then the intro to the prologue starts. It shows some scenery, crowds, etc. and the credits are coming up over top. What made me chortle is that they show a little girl in a stroller in this intro, and she is totally picking her nose. It could be that it's late, I'm tired, I haven't eaten enough...but that just cracked me up. Hello???? Editors???? Proof 'watchers'???
P.S. For those of you who saw the title and thought something along the lines of, "sweet! finally the porn stuff is starting" - ha ha, fooled you again, suckers! (Just kidding...you know...)
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Blog Rating
Courtesy of comments at http://interchangeableparts.wordpress.com/, which if you haven't checked out, well....you're missing out....bigtime - so check it out... I discovered http://mingle2.com/blog-rating which will rate your blog according to the movie rating system.
So I plugged in the trusty URL of Great Blogspectations and.... (drumroll)... (envelope please)...
Great Blogspectations is rated PG-13 - Parents Strongly Cautioned - Some Material May Be Inappropriate for Children Under 13
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
fucking (3x)
fuck (2x)
pain (1x)
Oh well, better luck next time Great Blogspectations. Guess "muthafuckers" and such didn't show up. I will have to start spelling my profanities in a more proper and correct manner.
So I plugged in the trusty URL of Great Blogspectations and.... (drumroll)... (envelope please)...
Great Blogspectations is rated PG-13 - Parents Strongly Cautioned - Some Material May Be Inappropriate for Children Under 13
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
fucking (3x)
fuck (2x)
pain (1x)
Oh well, better luck next time Great Blogspectations. Guess "muthafuckers" and such didn't show up. I will have to start spelling my profanities in a more proper and correct manner.
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