Band Names

So you know how people say we're all here for a reason/we all have some kind of gift or talent? I'm not ever very sure that I've found mine, but one curious thing that I find I have an affinity for is coming up with weird band names. I wish I'd kept track of some of these over the years (uh, hello, use your blog) but unfortunately easy come, easy go. However, I thought I'd share one recent co-creation that was inspired by a game of charades and SNL's Jeopardy parody. So in the charades, the word was "Psychology" and the guesses had kind of stalled at "Psycho G". As one of the partygoers has the nickname "G", it took awhile before someone put the pieces together and got "Psychology" rather than Psycho G. But then, this reminded some of us of the Sean Connery character Jeopardy parody on SNL, in which he picks the category "Therapists" as "The Rapists". Perhaps I should have thought a little longer before speaking, but I said to the group, "hey, how about that as a band name, Psycho G and The Rapists?!" I do recall there may have been a gasp or two and some other assorted reactions. I didn't mean to make light of rapists or raping, of course. I just pictured a poster with "Psycho G and Therapists" and the real in the know fans of the band would pronounce it as the rapists while others would wonder if there shouldn't be a "the" in front of therapists. 

And today, there was an incident (more to follow in another entry perhaps) that I called "The Waffle Explosion" and then thought, hey, another possible band name. Can you picture the poster? I'm seeing it as done by a talented and funky graphic artist, with text something along the lines of... "Psycho G & Therapists (The Rapists??) with special guests The Waffle Explosion. Tickets $15 at the door". 

I will conclude by noting a real band name that I think is very clever. Canada's The Tragically Hip. Good stuff. And while I'm giving shout-outs (oh, did I just say that, I did a half cringe/half throw up in your mouth - shout out??? really??? gag) I would be remiss to not mention Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Perhaps not totally appropriate band name for this particular post, but hey, I like their CD and I saw them in concert and it was good. (I guess music reviewer is definitely not my talent - can you imagine? "Saw Pink last night. She sang. It was cool." or "Lollapalooza this year, a lot of bands, some good, some not so good, a few awful.") Okay, I said I was concluding but then I decided to throw in one more thing... Not sure how "true" this is but I heard that The Talking Heads were going through some sort of battle over use of the name after the group was splitting up and so the one faction called their album "No Talking, Just Head". That cracks me up.

Dixie Chicks Debaucle Documentary

A couple years ago I was recommended to watch "Shut Up and Sing", a documentary about the Dixie Chicks and the incident around comments made about then president GW Bush.
Sure, I recalled vaguely that the band had made some comment - in my memory it was at some sort of award show (turns out that wasn't the case).
I eventually ended up seeing the documentary (and saw it a 2nd time a few months ago) and learned a bit more about the 2003 incident and (more importantly) the events that came afterwards.
I don't want to spoil it, so I won't say much, but a couple of years afterwards, the group put out an album called "Taking the Long Way" that references some of those events. After having seen the documentary, the lyrics in "Not Ready to Make Nice" are pretty powerful. And on a music note, the whole album is quite good, particularly so a few songs.

Flight of Fancy

A34. B36. Like bra sizes.
Then lift off.
It's dark. Mood, feeling, sensation. Eerie?
Then the lights of the city spread out below. Dawning only of recognition. Then clouds.

Close eyes. Bumps. Association to a Tragically Hip song, but first hear a different song of theirs... "at the looooooooooooonely end of the rink, you and me..." before the song originally thought of, the more apt "Freak Turbulence".

Thoughts of food seep in...morphing...sexual. Over an hour, first today? Female... But awake?...the hour, so early. Doubts that this would really matter if male.

Thoughts - death. Like being an orgasm, back to the source? Swirling in this for several infinite moments.... BAM! The seeming infinite orgasm of being dead ends as it zips down to merge with an orgasm on earth, a newly fertilized egg......eyes blink open, take it in, close, BUMP! Wheels down, screech....

Celtic Concert Contemplation

So I went to a concert the other night that featured a celtic band. They were quite diverse and the whole experience was very enjoyable. Small venue. The woman in the band who spoke the most was very funny, with a Scottish accent. She liked to tell a bit of a story about the songs they would play and they were very improvisational. 'What should we play now?' they'd say to one another and then pick something. At one point she said they were going to do a song by this guy called Time Will End (the song, not the guy - and I think that's what she said, don't quote me). She said that she thought this was a neat title and she emailed this guy to ask what the story was behind his song, thinking it might be very cool. He said he was "contemplating his navel" when he wrote it but that if she came up with a good story, be sure to let him know. So she put it out to the audience to do just that. She said if anyone wanted to share and had a good one, she'd use it at future concerts and even give them credit.

So they start playing and I sort of zone out a bit and just let the music wash over me. Wow, that sounded so incredibly cheesy that I feel nauseous. It wasn't that weird. So anyway, I'm seeing if anything comes to me from listening to the music but all I can think of is the navel contemplation and I find myself kind of wishing that she hadn't put that in because it's interfering with me thinking of anything. Then suddenly stuff comes to me. So I thought I'd share...

I visualized a guy sitting in a room and literally staring at his belly button. (I didn't think until right now the symbolism involved in this, being that the umbilical cord unites mother and baby blah blah). Anyway... I see him doing this and then the screen goes wavy and we whoosh into his belly button in a sort of tornado like motion. There we see, sort of in miniature, a whole little 'village' in which the grass roofed huts are being lit on fire by marauders and people are running and screaming (there's no noise but you know they are). Then it morphs in the tornado way again and we see another scene. Each scene is a different time period but all sad in theme (or evil or what have you). The feeling that came up was depressing. Like since the beginning of time there has been ugliness (killing, hatred, etc) among humans and it will never change kind of thing.

At this point the music of the song kind of changes and I feel there's a different tone to it (not musical tone, just ... you know). So then I see the same kind of thing as before except now the scenes are more happy or at least ... emotional is the only word I can think of... like weddings or children being born or something. I think at the end of the song perhaps it zooms back out and we see the guy sitting in the room again, kind of expressionless.

------

"That's my story...and I'm sticking to it."
(Borrowed from a live version of "Highway Girl" by The Tragically Hip - very very very cool song).

Game Day Diary

6:20 a.m. - The alarm beeps and I shut it off. I'm surprised I slept pretty well despite some interruptions and don't feel like killing anyone just to be able to get a few more minutes sleep.
(Usually I'm a bit paranoid that the alarm won't go off and so I wake up a lot, sitting up in panic to check the time).

I get up and get ready. I'm useless at eating right when I get up so I grab some Powerade (the green one, pineapple melon flavour) and a dried fruit thin.

7:00 a.m. - I drive off to where the run I'm doing will be held. I'm unsure about parking.

I'm nearing the start/finish area of the race but I keep going and end up finding a parking spot really close. I'm shocked, and very pleased.

This race is a corporate challenge event. There are various distances, I'm signed up on a team that's to do the 10k. The team itself seems to me very poorly organized (it's not my company). The team leader was kind of waffling over whether or not we'd get enough people and that was excuse enough to me to not train for the event. I emailed when the event was closer and the waffling was still there. Then about 2 days beforehand, I get a call from the team captain saying it's a go.

I'm now in the parking garage about to go off to find this woman who I barely know. I get to the congested race start area and go inside the hotel where we're supposed to meet. Not there. I check the bag check area, not there. And so on. I'm getting a little panicked because the team captain picks up the race packages. This means I have no number etc. and I'll be mighty pissed if I got up early and this doesn't come together. Finally I see the woman outside.

The event itself I discover is very well organized. I'm pleased. I've done races before where they run out of fluids at the fluid stations and that is not cool. The start/finish line has official clocks, there's music blasting, and the usual atmosphere. If you're not familiar, it's a kind of 'runners camraderie' thing going on. A lot of stretching, jogging, pinning bib numbers on and that kind of thing. And line ups for the porta potties of course. I enjoy the atmosphere, solo as my team seems to be snobby. (One woman on the team gushes about how she's really slow and she'll be last and she won't stop fretting. I'm trying to be reassuring etc. She ends up coming in 2nd in her age category. I'm sorry, but bite me you stupid be-yotch. Honestly, that's just insulting. No one who actually is slow etc. comes in 2nd in their age group at a race like this.)

The announcer comes on and starts to rev us up for the start. It's ironic, because I'm a slow runner, but I'm mentally telling myself to start slow - it's a well known fact that going out too fast early is a killer. And at big events like this one it's easy to get pumped up and not realize your pace is way fast.

As we get closer (the official clock is counting down), they put on Thunderstruck by AC/DC. Good choice. I've always found that intro to be very inspiring. So I really tell myself to watch my pace. BANG! Just as the song kicks in (nicely timed!) the starting gun goes off and we begin. In case you're not familiar with these events, the starts are packed so it takes a bit to cross the line.

I check my watch at the 1k mark. Shit! Way slow! Like over a minute past what it should be. Apparently I was so worried about being too fast I've created the opposite problem. But I don't learn from this, I still think I'd better be careful not to increase my pace too much. When I check my watch again, still way slow. Yet my pace doesn't feel slow. This is why you can't go with how it feels.

5k mark - I can't remember exactly, but I think I was at 36 or 37 minutes some odd seconds. Not good. WAAAAAY too slow. So I power it on. As I approach the 6k mark a cover band is playing a Tragically Hip song. I'm inspired. I'm a fair distance away when they start into the next song, but I can tell it's one by 54-40, cool.

As you run along on these things, people actually cheer for you. When I was somewhere around km 3 or 4, the lead male runner was passing me in the opposite direction. Damn these top people are fast. He even gets bicycle escorts. Way cool. They have signs on the bikes to tell you it's the lead guy. A ways after him come more men, singly and in packs. I'm keeping my eye out but it's a good while til the top female passes. After her comes a guy, he's yelling encouragement at me. I'm too tired to yell encouragement at other people when I'm running, sheesh.

I like the design of this course. It's not 100% out and back, but mostly, and the 1st half has a lot more uphill - the 2nd have much more downhill, awesome! The fluid stations are well run. Everything is great. Except my fuck up with my timing, but whatever. It's a beautiful day.

Can't remember exactly where, but at one fluid station they were having a little battle, the water server was trying to get me to take water, the gatordade server his wares (the gatorade silly, sheesh). The lucky winner was stoked I picked his beverage, while the water server made a last ditch effort, asking something like, 'and some water too??' I managed a grin (hell of an effort, this running shit is draining y'know).... to be continued....

Must See TV!

I had a few minutes to kill the other day. And seeing as a few minutes isn't really enough time for killing, I instead flipped through a Fall TV preview.

Now, if the world were fair, the guys at Leper Pop http://leperpop.blogspot.com/ would write a blog on this, because it would be way more funny than what I can come up with. But guess what, the world isn't fair, so for now at least, you get this.

In my defence, these previews are so bad, what could anyone possibly add to make them funnier? And by 'funnier', I of course mean 'more ridiculous'.
Even the magazine that they were featured in mentions a site http://generatorland.com/ that randomly comes up with TV show pitches and I can tell you that they sadly aren't that far off of the real tv show descriptions. In fact, I've just now decided that I will make this into an interactive game! Go ahead readers, pick which of the following shows are coming to TV screens in the Fall, and which are made up! Here goes...

Moonlight - 'a good-hearted vampire works as a private investigator, protecting humans from their evil breathren'.

Dame Nimoy - 'an alien hides from a taxidermist with a photographic memory'.

Pushing Daisies - 'a whimsical tale about a pie maker named Ned who can kill or revive people, animals, and even plants with a single touch'.

Pulling Teeth - 'a down on his luck dentist falls in love with a mannequin that came to life'.

Da Kink In My Hair - 'a group of women gather to gossip, talk about their hopes and dreams and, of course, get some good weaves'.

And if you still think TV is "da bomb", check out the song "Television, The Drug of a Nation" by the Disposable Heroes of Hiphocracy http://peoplesgeography.com/2007/08/06/television-the-drug-of-a-nation/ (video) http://artists.letssingit.com/disposable-heroes-of-hiphoprisy-television-the-drug-of-the-nation-d1dw3jc (lyrics).

One Ring, One Cup (One Bourbon, One Scotch & One Beer)

I'm listening to sports radio today and I hear this rather interesting story about a Stanley Cup ring found in the waters of Mexico.
Here's a link to a print version of the story... http://news.sympatico.msn.ctv.ca/TopStories/ContentPosting.aspx?feedname=CTV-TOPSTORIES_V2&showbyline=True&newsitemid=CTVNews%2F20070823%2FStanley_Cup_Ring_070823

So they find a ring from the last time the Leafs won a Cup (1967). This reminds me of "Fifty Mission Cap" by The Tragically Hip (hockey & The Hip, does it get anymore Canadian than that...) which describes the story of Bill Barilko. (Basically, he scored an OT goal that won the Leafs the Cup - then he died - his body was recovered 11 years later which was the next time the Leafs won a Cup.)

Now, like a lot of hockey fans, I enjoy a good ribbing of the Leafs. And if you'd asked me earlier today whether they'd win a Cup anytime soon I would have laughed (no offense). But now...spooky...finding that ring is a sign! This is the year!

Fun With Food

I was recently trying to find something for lunch. Found some homemade humous (however you spell it) and so I looked for some tortilla chips to have with it. I found a previously opened (but sealed) bag and proceeded to eat (the humous & chips, not the bag silly). After the first bite, however, it became obvious that the chips were stale. I consulted the best before date. Well past. More than a month, closer to two. So I say to the person I'm having lunch with, "I think I'm going to need to abandon chip". Yeah, I thought that was pretty clever.

A day or two before that, I was out for dinner. I ordered the gnocchi (it was quite good). The next morning I got this song in my head... "I did it all for the gnocchi, the gnocchi, so you can take your head and shove it up your ...." (to the tune of that Nookie song by Limp Bizkit.)

Fool in the Rain

Yes, it's a very favourite Zeppelin song, and it's also the subject of today's blog.

So I go out for a run - the weather has been a bit confused, but it seems pretty good, lots of patches of blue sky and sun. Very quickly that goes away. No big deal.
It starts to drizzle. No big deal.
Pretty soon it's raining steadily. Not such a big deal.
I think you can see where this is headed...

It starts moving into the realm of pouring. And I mean pouring. I'm wearing a light running jacket and the arms are soaked through (ick) so once I'm at the point where I move from walking to running I take it off and tie it around my waist. I wonder how many people were driving by and thinking, "you idiot! you have a jacket, why aren't you wearing it!?"

Pretty soon I am soaked. I mean like I've been in the shower with clothes on (and yes, I would know, so there, shut it). I can feel the weight of my sopping clothing. Hey, this is good right? It's like running with weights. What a workout! I know it must be bad because someone driving by slows down and lowers the window to offer me a ride.

The rain continues - now torrential. I get even more soaked. Other than a couple of dry(ish) patches here and there, I now look like I've definitely been in the shower, but more likely in the bath. If it were horse racing 'bath' would be 3-1 and 'shower' would be 15-1.

A fire department vehicle going the other direction stops, the man driving offers me a ride. (Let me clarify, this isn't a fire truck on it's way to a fire or anything, it's just a vehicle painted in red that says Fire Department-whatever stuff all over it and has sirens and shit.) The guy driving calls me ma'am. Hey buddy, you are way older than me, cool it with the ma'am stuff. He also is snarky, all, "guess you need a ride huh, dumb twit got caught in the rain" type of thing. I am super polite but decline. I'm in running gear with headphones and the whole bit, I'm not running with a newspaper over my head to the closest shelter here, c'mon. Anyway, I think the only reason he offered me a ride was because he saw how soaked I was and went, "hey, she could put out a fire like nobody's business! Throw her on there and vooomffff, flames gone! The chief will give me a promotion if I bring in this sure-fire (no pun intended?) human extinguisher." Sorry about the promotion buddy. Better luck next time.

I continued on with my regular route, not really minding the soaked-ness that much. In truth, my main concern was, hmmm, just how see-through would my shirt be right now? That particular issue took up a fair bit of my attention. Especially as it seemed that for some reason the traffic level was higher than usual. And I was wearing a pale coloured t-shirt.

I made it home, having somehow managed to get even more soaked by that point. As I walked inside I could hear that "squoosh squooosh" noise. I looked in the mirror, observed the level of see through, decided it wasn't great but that I would be able to show my face again (preferably only my face in the future though) and struggled to remove my wet clothing. I kid you not, my little t shirt weighed about 5lbs. After I finished my arms hurt. Honestly. Like, more than they do after the gym. Yeah, how sad is that.