Football Forwarding Finesse - Follow Up

So for some reason I only got a few minutes of the "Brett Favre returns to Lambeau" game. I noticed it later on the NFL network. (As an aside, the NFL network is free, NHL network one has to pay extra for - what's with that? Fine, I'm a huge hockey fan but I'm gonna watch even more football now, so there). So anyhoo, I guess this show on the NFL network is a special replay version of noteworthy games. They skip over a lot of plays so the whole show is only 90 minutes. It's pretty cool. What I didn't like, though, was that they told the outcome of the game in the preshow commentary. Thanks a lot. I mean really, even if you watched the game they're about to show at some point, do you really want to hear the outcome right before you commence re-watching? (Rhetorical question). What was interesting was the post-game commentary that was interspersed on particularly noteworthy plays. A nice package. And who doesn't like a nice package...

You Know The Economy's Bad When...

So I see this furniture commercial that begins with voiceover and giant red titles,
"Big Chest Sale!"
Of course I can't help but picture large breasted women getting deals. And others, "sorry M'am, you don't qualify".
What can I say... my mind...

I Have Some Funny Friends

So I sometimes go to this yoga class. I don't love the instructor (she's "ok") but the class time/location is convenient. So I have two friends who rarely go but do so once in awhile so they know the class/instructor. For some unknown reason, the instructor always seems to pick on Friend 1 when they attend. So one day the three of us (me & the two friends) are all hanging out and myself and Friend 1 are telling Friend 2 about how the instructor picks on Friend 1. One of the really annoying things about the instructor is that she will say things to Friend 1 like, "wow, you are REALLY tight" (when clearly it's not that they're tight but just that they aren't understanding the pose). So Friend 3 (female in case it matters) says in response, "just say to her (the instructor), 'what, you jealous?'"

Can you picture it?...
"Wow, you are REALLY tight!"
"Jealous?"

That totally cracked me up.

Football Forwarding Finesse

So I'm no football expert but I get the basics. On a Sunday I often put the games on to record and that way I can skip through commercials. If there are a lot of games on t.v. that I'm interested in, or if I'm just short on time or interest, I'll often watch the plays of the game without much of the commentary and so forth. The skip button on the dvr does about 30 seconds and if I can get into a good rhythm (me and the quarterback, you know how it is) I can get the timing going so well that I literally see everyone set up on the line of scrimmage, watch the play, hit skip, and see the next set up on the line of scrimmage. That's when my equivalent of the passer rating goes way up and I get a real feeling of satisfaction. When I lose the rhythm or something throws it off, I sometimes see a guy running into the end zone and have to use the back button to see the beginning of the play and as I know what happens, it kind of ruins it. It's kind of like getting sacked.

Running While Ironing

...actually, it's running & irony

So recently at one of the spots that I go running at there was an attack made on a woman. A man, exposing his "kibbles & bits" area, touched this woman and when she ran away he chased her and tried to remove her top/groped her. There is some suspicion that this man may have exposed himself to woman earlier in the year at other locations. If so, the level of intensity is increasing. If not, it's still freaky.
Recently, there was an article in the paper written by another female walker/runner who said it's not safe to run alone in the park area where this attack happened. She went on to say that it's not a big deal to be restricted in this way as a woman as that's just life. I disagree as my running experience is now marred and I do think that I should be able to run alone (at 'normal' times of the day) in this public location without fearing for my safety unduly. I do sometimes run with others, but we aren't all at the same pace and I like just being able to go when I want and not be restricted by others schedules etc. Now when I'm running there, I'm on full alert the whole time (which is very draining - it's hard enough to run without having to constantly look out for danger). The irony part comes as I encounter others on the trail. There's sort of one main circular route with other tributaries but as you're running the circular route you can expect other people running/walking in each direction. So sometime people pass you going the other way, pass you from behind, or you pass them. I noticed that now when I see a person(s) ahead, it's part relief (if any spooky guy with bad intentions attacks me now, someone else is nearby, phew) and part fear (what if this is the spooky person with bad intentions). I found this very odd and it got me to thinking about how others are both a source of security but also of danger.

One of my other running friends (female) feels like if she got groped, she'd get over it, but is running by oneself worth the chance of something more traumatizing happening. I pretty much agreed with that. I'm stuck between not wanting to be an idiot taking risks, and not wanting to have to live in fear and restrictions because the odd person out there has some serious issues that present a danger to others.

In light of the title, maybe I should run with an iron. Strength workout and cardio in one! And if I encounter the 'bad guy', I can throw in some MMA too! But anyone who knows me knows I don't iron so I guess that's out.

And sorry for this in advance guys, I'm not usually so vicious, but I hope that guy approaches the 'wrong woman' out there and she grabs him by the kiwis and twists them like she's wringing out the laundry. Okay, that was probably too harsh. I hope the guy (and lots of others like him) turn himself in and get sex offender treatment? Probably the whole kiwi thing would just make the situation worse.

This whole thing reminds me of a bumper sticker, "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog." I don't have a dog, but some people really make it hard to like people.

Tour de France - Prologue

If you have been reading this blog for awhile, you may recall an earlier series of posts around Le Tour. Last year I didn't watch, and this year I had planned to, then heard about Lance Armstrong returning, then got really busy and promptly practically forgot most of that until right as the Tour was starting. So I turn on my DVR today to watch the broadcast of the start of the race. Don't mock me (or go ahead, I don't care anymore) but even watching the beginning of the broadcast with the voice over laying out the scene got me super pumped. And finding out that Lance Armstrong is back again after a huge layoff (by finding out I mean seeing him actually there, ready to start, as just because he announced he would however many months ago wouldn't mean he would, any number of injuries or whatever could've changed that) adds some more intrigue. It was cool to also see a lot of familiar names (I only cycling event I watch is Le Tour and even then it's a recent thing although I did watch DVD's of many of the late 90's/earlier 2000's races). I didn't mean to watch the whole stage in one sitting, but I did, although I managed not to watch the next broadcast right afterwards. P.S. DVR's rock!

Breaking News Alert: There is a God!....

...or a higher power, creator.... whatever name you wish to use is fine here at Great Blogspectations. So how is it that we have come to this conclusion? Rather hastily as many conclusions are come to? Yes. And is the title a bit sensationalized? Yes. "There is" implies proof, and, as we all know, the almighty church of science tells us that there is never proof, only support for a hypothesis. So here's the support...

I'm at the grocery store, getting a bunch of stuff, finally feeling a bit more inspired around food after a long drought (hmmm, more "proof" perhaps? sounds biblical, doubt, drought...). As I'm unloading my wares onto the conveyor belt, I remember that the kitchen garbage bag supply is dwindling and that I probably should have picked up another box (for the bathrooms and such I just reuse plastic grocery bags - somehow, despite the fact that I pretty much use reusable cloth type bags 100% of the time, this supply never seems to dwindle). I hesitate, figure 'nah, never mind' and just then I hear (from another till, "...and you'll recieve this box of biodegradeable garbage bags for spending more than $60....") and I know that I will have easily surpassed the $60 mark. Sure enough, I get the free garbage bags (only a box of 10, but still). When I arrive home, I check the sizing against the old box of bags and sure enough, almost exactly the same size! Conclusion: Woohoo! (There is a god).

Signs For Sick Minds

As you near the parking lot entrance for a place I run at regularly, there is a sign similar to the above. I don't notice it so much anymore, but for awhile every time I saw it I would snicker and make pelvic thrust motions to indicate a "speed hump". Yes, I have the mind of a 14 year old boy. No, that's not fair, I apologize to the 14 year old boys of the world.

Clean Sheet (Of Ice), Dirty Minds, Part II

So periodically you may have noticed I snicker (juvenile-ly ... that's a word, right ;) at some of the commentary during hockey games. The other night I found another to add to my previous snickers. "He just needs to get it deep and get off." Heh heh heh. Not quite as bad as a 2007 post where I quoted Healy on Fleury with the "spends half the night on his knees, half on his back" comment, but still.

Another fairly recent one that got me chuckling was when I was watching a broadcast and they mentioned hockey players need to be careful nowadays because everything is recorded. They then mentioned Vancouver Canucks players Kesler & Burrows learned this after some of their comments made it to YouTube. Of course I had to go check that out. Vancouver was playing St. Louis at the time and they were talking to David Backes. There was some comment about "saying hi to Kelly" and "Kelly being a nice girl" (I suspected and later confirmed that this was Backes' wife/girlfriend). Now normally I would probably think that was a bit low, but seeing as they didn't say (or at least not that I know about) anything too rude, it was kind of funny. But another piece of that segment on YouTube was the comment "give yer balls a tug!". I don't even know who said that, but it cracked me up. Since then, I've thrown it into casual conversation a couple of times. One such time a female friend and I texted a mutual friend with "we're about to have a beaver fight, so give yer balls a tug and get over here" (don't ask - it's not quite as bad as it might sound). I think my mind needs a Zamboni, sheesh.

We Gather Here Today...

So I'm at this staff training type of thing the other day. They decide to open with a prayer of some kind. So everyone is asked to join hands as someone speaks on the kind of day we want to have and all that. Now, anyone who knows me knows this isn't really my kind of thing. But I can be respectful, and once in awhile if I'm feeling particularly open-minded I might even get something out of something like this. But mostly I just picture some alternate version of myself along with some friends, all snickering at what has become of me that I'd be taking part in these kinds of things. But anyway...
So at this event, during this 'prayer', the person speaking says something about being 'thankful for all the beautiful staff'...and I can't help but instantly think, "and for the ugly ones too". At least I managed not to laugh. At least I hope the grin I felt was an inward one. I guess this explains why I'd never be the one speaking at something like this...I'd probably say outloud "and for the ugly ones too" and while some might get the humour, I'd imagine others would not take it so well. Hence I've used a healthier (we're talking a spectrum here) Freudian defense mechanism and sublimated that urge into blogville.

Bus(ted)

So I'm driving to work the other day and as I'm turning right there's a school bus turning left onto the road I'm turning off of. (I just ended a sentence with a proposition, I think I need to go back to school). So you need to know that I'm not really a kid person and I'm one of those people who wants to gag when someone says something along the lines of, "I hope you have a peaceful, joyful day full of growth". So I don't know what had gotten into me, perhaps there was a ray of sunshine that morning after a long, snowy winter that caused some strange reaction in me, but, at any rate, I found myself looking at the little kids in the bus with their shining, excited faces and for a moment I felt this lovely feeling, this "awww...." and then (screeching tires sound) I see the one little kid with his shining face is giving another kid (waiting for the bus) the finger. Then I chortle and shake my head. When I told the story at work that day, people had a good laugh. I'm not sure it translates to the blog, but let's hope.

Dixie Chicks Debaucle Documentary

A couple years ago I was recommended to watch "Shut Up and Sing", a documentary about the Dixie Chicks and the incident around comments made about then president GW Bush.
Sure, I recalled vaguely that the band had made some comment - in my memory it was at some sort of award show (turns out that wasn't the case).
I eventually ended up seeing the documentary (and saw it a 2nd time a few months ago) and learned a bit more about the 2003 incident and (more importantly) the events that came afterwards.
I don't want to spoil it, so I won't say much, but a couple of years afterwards, the group put out an album called "Taking the Long Way" that references some of those events. After having seen the documentary, the lyrics in "Not Ready to Make Nice" are pretty powerful. And on a music note, the whole album is quite good, particularly so a few songs.

Superbowl XLIII

So I'm watching the Super Bowl and they show a shot of the people involved with the team up above the field (owners and such). The commentator says what I hear as "he's just standing there, jacking off". This of course causes me to do a double take and to wonder what on earth is going on. Then everyone else figures out why I have such a strange look on my face while I, concurrently, realize what I actually heard ("...jacket off"). We all chortled.

You know, this was funnier in person. Really, I swear.

I Can't Believe It's Not B...logged

I cannot believe that I haven't blogged about this before. But if I have, I don't see it here. Allow me to rant a bit about Starbucks. Specifically their sizes. Tall, Grande, Venti. I think I got that right. Can someone please tell me what the &*%! is with that?!? Venti, no idea what that means. But I'm unsure why it's bigger than a Grande. But my biggest beef is why Tall is actually the small. From now on if anyone calls me short I'm going to have a fit and insist that I'm tall.
Getting back to Starbucks though, sometimes I'll just say 'small' or 'medium' or 'large' - my favourite complaint is when the clerk (barista, puh-lease) repeats it back to me with the Starbucks size substituted in. Actually, my absolute favorite (should I say my Venti favourite?) is when they pretend like they don't know what I mean and try to get me to ask for the size using their pretentious designations.
I remember in a movie once they were talking about how those type of coffee places give people in our modern times a sense of identity. I'm afraid that may be very true. Awhile back I was with a friend of mine at her workplace and a coworker asked us to pick her up a tea from Starbucks while we were out. She then told my friend she'd write it down. I was thinking, man, how could we not remember what kind of tea she wants?!? Then she writes it down, holy crap!!! It took about a minute to say it! Something along the lines of a green tea, half skim/half cream, low foam, with soy, yada yada yada. Dang.

Hockey Player Names

So everytime I see Goc (San Jose) - or I should say hear him in the play by play, I find myself thinking about how I dislike his name (no offense Mr. Goc ;) ) It sounds to me like a combination between crotch and gaunch. Bleh.
I had a boyfriend once who wasn't into hockey but would sometime see some when I was watching. He got a real kick out of some of the names. Please tell me I'm not turning into him. I can remember him guffawing heartily over Tugnutt. And Pitlick. Although I have to admit, Pitlick is a pretty funny name.
This isn't really about a name (although most people seem to pronounce it "Clod" - I thought the proper pronounciation was Clooowd) but Claude Lemieux back?! Man, I always disliked him.
Ah, that reminds me, I was quite disappointed to find out I wasn't unique in yelling out Pickles! everytime they announce Vlasic or Soup! (Soupy) with Campbell.