Okay, so it's no IPB calibre game diary...more like a highlight version...and not even a good highlight version like NHL On The Fly...but here goes...
I've sat down with my Dad to watch this game. He likes to watch with no sound on. He's waiting for the day when you can pick which sounds you get with a game. Which, as an aside, would be way cool. "I'd like all the on ice noise and the crowd, oh, good play by play guy tonight - I'll keep him then - oh (said with disdain) *he's* doing colour...mute FORSURE!" (But I digress).
Canucks have the puck behind their own net. They're taking their sweet time setting up the play. I snidely remark that if they just stand there a little longer, they're sure to run out the clock (I think there was about 2 minutes left).
Canucks do a break-out, it looks good at first and then falls flat. I remark, "guess he's not a Weaver of magic". My Dad didn't get it at first, til he realized the Canucks D Weaver had started the play. I felt pretty proud. I was practically Ron MacLean right there.
The Canucks have the puck for a long time in the offensive zone but no real chances. I think to myself that the Canucks are like my spin class this morning: lots of cycling, but you never go anywhere.
Avalanche are called on a penalty. Their coach is shown doing the usual freak out (recall, no sound). My Dad says, "he seems like a sweet guy" (in a very sort of sincere sounding voice, hard to explain, but it was somehow funny). Then they do the penalty box shot with the graphic, and it's Kurt Sauer in the box. For a minute I thought my Dad somehow had known that and wasn't referring to the coach at all with his, "sweet" comment but making a joke re: "sour" (that's the antithesis of sweet for anyone who didn't get that ;) Of course he was talking about the coach. But it was still well-timed comedy, dammit.
Canucks again, what looks to be some pretty passing - I think "tic...tac!....noooo". On the replay, it appears that the "pretty passing" I originally saw was actually more like a series of lucky blunders. Kind of made it cool, actually.
I note the "Viagra" ads on the boards. A reminder to "get it up" I think. Unless the opposing goalie is weak 5 hole or on wraparounds, in which case...
Friday, November 9, 2007
Flight of Fancy
A34. B36. Like bra sizes.
Then lift off.
It's dark. Mood, feeling, sensation. Eerie?
Then the lights of the city spread out below. Dawning only of recognition. Then clouds.
Close eyes. Bumps. Association to a Tragically Hip song, but first hear a different song of theirs... "at the looooooooooooonely end of the rink, you and me..." before the song originally thought of, the more apt "Freak Turbulence".
Thoughts of food seep in...morphing...sexual. Over an hour, first today? Female... But awake?...the hour, so early. Doubts that this would really matter if male.
Thoughts - death. Like being an orgasm, back to the source? Swirling in this for several infinite moments.... BAM! The seeming infinite orgasm of being dead ends as it zips down to merge with an orgasm on earth, a newly fertilized egg......eyes blink open, take it in, close, BUMP! Wheels down, screech....
Then lift off.
It's dark. Mood, feeling, sensation. Eerie?
Then the lights of the city spread out below. Dawning only of recognition. Then clouds.
Close eyes. Bumps. Association to a Tragically Hip song, but first hear a different song of theirs... "at the looooooooooooonely end of the rink, you and me..." before the song originally thought of, the more apt "Freak Turbulence".
Thoughts of food seep in...morphing...sexual. Over an hour, first today? Female... But awake?...the hour, so early. Doubts that this would really matter if male.
Thoughts - death. Like being an orgasm, back to the source? Swirling in this for several infinite moments.... BAM! The seeming infinite orgasm of being dead ends as it zips down to merge with an orgasm on earth, a newly fertilized egg......eyes blink open, take it in, close, BUMP! Wheels down, screech....
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Blog Inspiration Synchronicity
The subtitle of this post should be: "A.K.A. awkward title" or "Take out the middle initial and you're left with BS". But I digress.
So over at IPB we were talking about 'old-fashioned phrases'. I mentioned that I had said "the proof is in the pudding" and the person I was speaking to (late 20's I think) said xe had never heard that expression.
Later that same day... (screen goes wavy), I was reading a book (coincidentally it was about blogging) and the author (Mason) was talking about "phrases you wish would come back into fashion".
So here goes...
"I don't give a tinker's damn." (Have to admit, that's new to me. Did tinker's have dams and someone got confused? Were they really crappy, leaky dams?)
"Here's mud in your eye." (Did that used to be the equivalent of the F word?? Once upon a time it was 'Mud in your eye!' and now it's 'Fuck off'?)
"He's a tall, cool drink of water." (Yeah, but the more pressing question is, who is the straw that stirs the drink?!?! Am I right?!)
"I like the cut of his jib." (Sailing is soooo kinky!)
"I'll fix your little red wagon." (Apparently wagon fixing is right up there with sailing, who knew).
So over at IPB we were talking about 'old-fashioned phrases'. I mentioned that I had said "the proof is in the pudding" and the person I was speaking to (late 20's I think) said xe had never heard that expression.
Later that same day... (screen goes wavy), I was reading a book (coincidentally it was about blogging) and the author (Mason) was talking about "phrases you wish would come back into fashion".
So here goes...
"I don't give a tinker's damn." (Have to admit, that's new to me. Did tinker's have dams and someone got confused? Were they really crappy, leaky dams?)
"Here's mud in your eye." (Did that used to be the equivalent of the F word?? Once upon a time it was 'Mud in your eye!' and now it's 'Fuck off'?)
"He's a tall, cool drink of water." (Yeah, but the more pressing question is, who is the straw that stirs the drink?!?! Am I right?!)
"I like the cut of his jib." (Sailing is soooo kinky!)
"I'll fix your little red wagon." (Apparently wagon fixing is right up there with sailing, who knew).
Grocery Store Gaffe
I walk into my local grocery store. I see a couple of friends. I wave hello.
(You're waiting for it right? Rubbing your hands together in anticipation, waiting for the 'gaffe' part. Will she trip and fall? Is there toilet paper stuck to her shoe? What will it be???)
Well let me start with a little background. The people I'm waving to - one is an ex-boyfriend (from way back, don't get excited) and the other is his girlfriend. Fiancee now actually. So the last time I saw them, it was afternoon and I was still in my housecoat (don't ask). I'm assuming what follows comes out of that interaction...
The Dude: "Wow! It's amazing to see you with clothes on! I'm not used to this! And so *early* in the day, too!" (This is all said in a booming voice that I'm sure at least a quarter of the store can hear.)
Now at first I'm just sort of, ha ha, yeah, until more of what he's saying sinks in and I realize how it must sound to others. I notice a couple clerks and customers start to give us strange looks. I begin to imagine what stories they're mentally composing to explain why this man is telling this woman how strange it is to see her with clothes on. I then make eye contact with the fiancee. With a bemused look, I say, "that really didn't sound very good, did it?" (not that it was a question, more like, duh, of course not). She most certainly agreed. He, meanwhile, is still talking, seemingly oblivious to what he's saying, or rather the effect that it's creating.
Ah, good times. Who knew the grocery store could be so much fun.
(You're waiting for it right? Rubbing your hands together in anticipation, waiting for the 'gaffe' part. Will she trip and fall? Is there toilet paper stuck to her shoe? What will it be???)
Well let me start with a little background. The people I'm waving to - one is an ex-boyfriend (from way back, don't get excited) and the other is his girlfriend. Fiancee now actually. So the last time I saw them, it was afternoon and I was still in my housecoat (don't ask). I'm assuming what follows comes out of that interaction...
The Dude: "Wow! It's amazing to see you with clothes on! I'm not used to this! And so *early* in the day, too!" (This is all said in a booming voice that I'm sure at least a quarter of the store can hear.)
Now at first I'm just sort of, ha ha, yeah, until more of what he's saying sinks in and I realize how it must sound to others. I notice a couple clerks and customers start to give us strange looks. I begin to imagine what stories they're mentally composing to explain why this man is telling this woman how strange it is to see her with clothes on. I then make eye contact with the fiancee. With a bemused look, I say, "that really didn't sound very good, did it?" (not that it was a question, more like, duh, of course not). She most certainly agreed. He, meanwhile, is still talking, seemingly oblivious to what he's saying, or rather the effect that it's creating.
Ah, good times. Who knew the grocery store could be so much fun.
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