Whaddya Think, Will Hallmark Be Hiring Me?

So I'm on vacation recently. One of the places I visited was California. Governed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. While I'm on vacation I hear from someone else on the trip about a guy I know. Apparently he appeared to have a brain tumour but hadn't really told anyone. He got a bunch of tests and such and the verdict was that the tumour was something he was probably born with and he could just ignore it. Something along those lines. So with this new news he figured he could mention it to a few people which is how I indirectly heard the news. Now this is not someone I know that well, but awhile later I was contemplating his upcoming birthday and I thought about getting him a card. I shared with a trusted confidante the following idea...

{Dreamy music, the screen goes wavy}...

[Front of card] A picture of Arnold (see how this all ties together? California, its' Governor...)

[Inside verse] It's not a tumour!!! (You have to imagine this in Arnold's voice of course. It would be extra wicked cool if I could get one of those cards that actually plays a sound file when you open it).

My trusted confidante seemed to think I was basically of the same type as Hitler for this one. I kind of thought it was a lighthearted double-purpose card. I'm relieved your brain is ok, and by the way, Happy Birthday. I'm sure Hallmark doesn't have anything like that! But I wasn't sure how the proposed recipient would take it so the idea never reached fruition. You never know, watch for it in a card store. Someday.