Musing on Mousse

Awhile ago I ran out of mousse (for my hair - not the chocolate kind, who'd ever run out of that?!) so I went to get more. I found the same kind but with a new name/packaging. So I adopted a bottle by paying the adoption fee and brought it to its' new home. No more having to sit on a shelf with all kinds of other mousse and hair care products - now it would have a brand new home on top of my dresser. (That's a set of drawers that you keep clothes in, not a person who dresses me - although the latter might be kind of cool).

Now you may be thinking, wow, like the shoe thing wasn't bad enough, now we're reading drivel about your hair product buying and, to add insult to injury, just when we think it has potential because you allude to having a personal dresser, we find out it's just a chest of drawers. But, just like when you bring a puppy home from the pound, my mousse adoption didn't go entirely smoothly....

The first time I went to use it, I could not get any mousse to come out. Eventually it did work but I had a fleeting thought about how healthy that was - fleeting image of an explosion due to a glitch in the packaging or something. I did consider returning the mousse and bringing home a different one, but I didn't want to hurt the mousse's feelings. How nice is that being replaced so callously?

Time went by and my mousse seemed to become more coooperative. I think I forgot about the exploding possibilities. They became just a distant echo in the recesses of my mind. And eventually found out what else was lurking there and got too scared to even echo.

But then, the other night, I was getting ready to head out for the evening and my mousse again refused to cooperate. This is frustrating to me. I'm not one of those people who spends a lot of time doing their hair. I spray in leave in conditioner, I put in the mousse, and then myself and my wet hair hit the road. My entire hair doing routine takes a minute (I know, that's probably nothing to brag about. It reminds me of a friend... someone would say [proudly] "I got this haircut for $6!" and my friend would say [with a glorious expression on xe's face], "There's no need to point out the obvious." Ha ha, BURN! But anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming. I'm sure the suspense is killing you.) So the reason I mention my quick hair routine is that once that mousse goes in, the hair part of getting ready is done, so when it doesn't work, this is an irksome delay.

So I fiddle with the mousse bottle, trying to make it work. All of a sudden there's this weird noise - kind of a compressed air suddenly being released kind of noise - and I think I see something tiny go flying across the room and then the mousse works. That is to say that my hand is suddenly filled with mousse. Now it's probably a good amount to use, but I generally go pretty easy with the mousse. Got up the next morning and my hair pretty much still looked done, guess that's alright. But the point is, I'm a bit concerned that the mousse bottle will one day explode and my face will be filled with shrapnel. Besides the obvious suckitude (I think I stole that word) of that, oh! the disfigurement!, I would then be traumatized and going into a drugstore or hair salon would make me fall to the ground, flailing wildy & screaming while intermittently yelling, "take cover! take cover!" while other patrons worriedly grabbed their children to shepherd them away from the crazy person waxing the floor with her own body. And I'm sure my hair would look terrible too, just increasing the crazy person image. Then I'd probably end up in a mental institution, rocking in the corner while self-flagellating with a hairbrush.