9. This sporting event has it all. I've talked about the toughness, the speed, etc., but it also includes eating! Eating is so important, in fact, that on the route map they show the t.v. viewers they include the location of the feed stations. Here people stand with feedbags that the cyclist must grab while zipping by. (And they also must try not to end a sentence with a preposition, all at the same time!) And these cyclists throw stuff into the crowd when they're done with it (e.g. water bottles). I'm just picturing the gleeful dreamlike state I would be in for 2 weeks after the following transpires (screen goes wavy, back in time music)....
TdF cyclist: "Zut! Triple ZUT! Zeye deed not order ze tuna! I vanted ze egg! Ze egg dammit!"
In utter disgust he hucks his tuna sandwich into the crowd. It goes sailing at speeds like that of a baseball pitch but for one GB it is spinning end over end in slow motion. Fascinated, she stares, nay, she gapes, open mouthed, eyes as big as saucers, no - as big as dinner plates! as the sandwich comes ever closer. In the last instance, time returns to normal speed and WHAP! the sandwich smacks her smartly in the forehead, leaving a red mark and a light tuna residue. She picks it up, holds it in her hands, delirious. And for the next 2 weeks she walks around in this state. Except she doesn't hold the sandwich for the whole 2 weeks, that would be gross. Instead she has it coated protectively, like Han Solo frozen in carbonite, and it sits proudly in her sports shrine in a place of special honour from then on. (Fucking prepositions).
And imagine the story she will tell, no party, no social gathering will ever pass without "hey, you know what happened to me once...."
10. Did I mention the scenery yet? I can't remember. This blog moves as fast as a moderately fast stage. But anyway, in one shot in an early stage, they showed this castle. With a moat. I think I'm in love. I am in love. This is my dream to have a place like this. (I am a rock...I am an issssssssland....). A moat! That's too f'ing cool. If there had been a fire-breathing dragon I probably would have collapsed in utter glee. Perhaps if I could afford the castle I would have enough to get me a fire breathing dragon. Or at least one that could get a few flames out every once in awhile.
11. The changing route. Yes, I was that naive re: the tour that I didn't realize it wasn't the same all the time. Oops. But now that I do know, I find this pretty cool. In one way it would be cool to have the exact same route, but it's also kind of neat to shake things up, keep it fresh (like my carbonite tuna sandwich).
12. No weather cancellations. Sweet. See the entry about tough. These athletes don't mess around. Rain delays are for pussies. (That sounded wrong somehow). I hear at one of the shortly upcoming alps stages (maybe they've even started it, I'm a little behind on my watching) there was snow the other day.
1 comment:
There's no Star Wars in cycling!
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